Lately I’ve felt weird. I think it is probably just symptoms of Senioritis, but I feel like I’ve been tested this semester with adequacy issues. First off, this semester I have my internship at a design firm in Kansas City. I know I’ve been doing this design jig for 4 years almost, but every week I still enter the building slightly intimidated. Not to mention, because of this “real life” transitioning I’ve needed to transition into a more professional look, i.e. business casual. This has really taken a toll on my Sanrio collection. Kidding, but seriously.. I used to have no problem shopping and finding things that I loved, and made people say “that’s so you” or “only you could pull that off that well.” Probably because they though my outfits were like a crazy person’s, but still! I had a style. A statement. Now I’m buying blazers and lacy tops, but only if Ferrell gives me the OK. I can’t help but think I peaked in High School in the “having everything together” category.

I also just started a job on Mass at ACME (hot and fresh t-shirts made to order!) I have the subliminal messaging down, but I’m still going through training with customers and pressing shirts, and whatnot. I don’t know why I give myself the expectations of starting off knowing everything. It’s never going to happen. This is also an issue in my french class right now. I have a hard time speaking up if I’m not 100% sure I’m right. Where did all this pride come from?

Now I’m about to graduate. I have to think of a life plan in order to answer everyone’s questions about my future. I have no idea what I want to do, where I want to go, who I want to be. My only certainty is wanting to do Peace Corps which is not even guaranteed, and actually extremely competitive. bah. HOW am I already almost finished with college? I swear I just started..

And Lindsey keeps hassling me about really wanting to be my bridesmaid..